


A Deeper Look

by theauthor2010



Category: Glee
Genre: Explicit Language, Homophobic Language, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-28
Updated: 2011-02-28
Packaged: 2017-10-16 00:31:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/166532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theauthor2010/pseuds/theauthor2010
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's never heard slurs like that thrown around and not directed at himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Maybe this deserves a deeper look.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written after 2x6 aired. Anything after 2x6 should be considered AU.

"Fucking faggot!"

That's enough to snap Kurt out of his thoughts. He's never heard slurs like that thrown around and not directed at him. He listens closer, not turning the corner where the sounds come from yet. They come from the locker room, that much he can sort of tell. Who is that talking? The voice isn't really familiar immediately but when the person speaks again, he gets it, loud and clear.

"Trusted you...and you wound up one of them..."

Kurt has heard that voice before. He presses his ear to the door to hear a little more clearly. Azimio. He knows it. Oh shit. He turns the corner.

Dave Karofsky is crouching low next to a bench. Its not that far from where he kissed Kurt, actually. It takes Kurt a second to shake off that horrible memory and realize that he's bleeding and broken, lying under his former partner in crime, who is kicking him in the chest viciously. He whimpers in pain as Azimio continues to lay on the slurs.

"Disgusting. Fucking ashamed I ever touched you, cocksucker. Probably looking at my dick every time we got in the shower."

"Please," Karofsky mutters and it's so near a whimper that it breaks Kurt. Has the boy ever whimpered before, even?

Kurt doesn't think. He launches himself at the big jock, throwing his arms around him from behind. "Get off of him!" he yells. He jumps on him from behind, arms around his neck. He slams his foot into the back of Azimio's knee to make him buckle down and stumble. He takes a swipe at Kurt as he does. Kurt cries out when a solid fist makes contact with his nose but instead of faltering when the blood starts flowing, he hits Azimio hard in the back, using his confusion to his advantage. The crunch and moan is surprisingly satisfying to someone as decidedly nonviolent as Kurt was supposed to be.

"Come to save a fag in need princess?" he taunts through his pain. "You send out the pussy signal Karofsky? Captain Queerio to the rescue."

Kurt uses the taunting to his advantage and kicks him where it hurts. "Get the hell out!" he yells, emotions so high. He's all teeth and nails until there's another voice.

Shannon Beiste enters the locker room at an ideal moment. It's to clear out the remaining students because of the time but when she sees Kurt viciously clawing at Azimio she pulls him off without a second's hesitation. She is all action.

"What happened?" she asks plucking Kurt back with no effort at all. It's like he's made of absolutely nothing when compared to her unbelievable strength.

"Goddamned homophobe beat his own best friend!" Kurt yells, frantic and that's when her eyes lock on Karofsky.

"You," she said grabbing Azimio by the shoulder. "Now. You." She looked to Kurt. "Call this kid an ambulace ok? He's really hurt."

Kurt nods and fumbles in his pocket for his phone. Azimio is dragged away. She doesn't seem to give the large hockey player much more effort than she gives Kurt. She's kind of amazing. He dials the police and quickly locates himself and identifies the situation. He then kneels near Karofsky.

The jock's face is badly bruised, his right eye is swollen closed and the rest a mess of purple and green. His lower lip is busted open and dried blood is caked in his hair.

"I'm not a fag," he mumbles, over and over. "Not a fag, not a fag. Can't be a fag. Hurts. Hurts."

Kurt doesn't know how to act. He never imagined a world where Karofsky would be lying here, mentally dead to the world and beaten down so brutally that he probably couldn't see straight. "Hey, hey," he says. "It'll be okay. Can you move?"

"I'm not a fuckin'...faggot," he sobs.

Kurt doesn't know how one comforts their former tormentor. So he lays a hand on Karofsky's shoulder, rubbing light. "What happened?" he asks and finally Karofsky looks him in the eye and acknowledges his presence.

"Told him."

It's simple and Kurt could have figured that much but the pain is sharper than any knife. "Why?" he asks.

"Your jackass boyfriend Hummel and his snooty ass attitude! I sure showed him huh? Telling my best friend I'm a fag!" He laughs and it turns into a sob.

Kurt is thankful that paramedics come in then and there. Kurt moves back to let them do their job, backing out of the locker room and straight into Rachel Berry. He doesn't think he could ever imagine a world where he'd say it, but thank god for Rachel. He practically falls back into her, looking around confused. Rachel sees the paramedics and Kurt's hysteria and puts a hand on him that he'd usually brush off. She outright hugs him, something he would curse violently at if he didn't need that comfort so damned badly.

"Kurt," she says. "Kurt, earth to Kurt what on earth happened in there?"

Kurt stammers and looks directly at her. "Karofsky. He's a...bloody mess. Azimio... I pulled him off but not nearly in time." He's not composed at all, falling apart at the introduction of another person to the mix. Rachel stares at him like he's crazy but moves him towards the choir room, which is where she came from. He follows her because he doesn't know where else to go.

"Those two have been joined at the hip for the last twelve years at least," she says. "Usually by a slushie cup honestly, but still. What happened?"

Kurt sighs and he doesn't know what to say. He hasn't told anyone about the moment between he and Karofsky except for Blaine and he feels so suddenly strangled, seeing someone else beaten for their sexuality. He needs to tell someone what happened and Rachel is the only person that he trusts enough to say those words to.

"Rachel, can you keep a secret? Like really. Cause I know a few instances where you sucked massively at it."

Trusting Rachel is a bad idea, he tells himself, but he can't really care at that moment. He needs to tell someone. Anyone. He needs to get it out before it eats away at his chest like a disease.

"Of course," she answers, quickly. He's thankful she ignores the insult.

"A few days ago, Karofsky was being himself, basically making my life a living hell," he says, and he finds that he's so much more composed even beginning to blurt it out. "So I got the guts up to confront him." He doesn't mention Blaine because as much as he's unloading on Rachel, he doesn't trust her yet, especially with a matter that's so close to her obsessive compulsive glee club disorder.

"Oh no," she says.

"He kissed me," Kurt says. "I pushed him to tell me what the hell his problem was with me and he kissed me."

Her eyes get huge. That is not at all what she was expecting, he's sure. "He kissed you?" she asks, stunned. "Like a real kiss? Why would he do that?"

Kurt sighs and closes his eyes. His head is pounding and in spite of himself he's worrying about what's become of Dave Karofsky. This isn't a good thing. "I'm guessing extremely closeted homosexuality," he says dryly. "Only, he didn't leave it closeted to his best friend."

Rachel gasps.

"Oh no," she says. "He confessed his greatest secret to his best friend and was beaten down for it. That's so...tragic."

Kurt rolls his eyes. How very Rachel. "Yeah," he mumbles. "I don't know what to do. The paramedics just came and my head is spinning a little bit. What are you...doing here so late Rachel?" He realizes that they were both at school rather late after school hours, even for them.

"I was practicing in the choir room," she says shrugging. "Kurt...can I do anything to help?"

He shakes his head a little. "Thanks though Rachel. I think I should probably go to the hospital or something. I stopped it from going too far and ... is it stupid that I'm actually a little bit worried for him?"

"Not really," she says thinking about it. "My dads both used to say that some of the worst cases of homophobia deserved a deeper look. Maybe this deserves a deeper look."

Maybe it does.


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt goes to the hospital in spite of everything in his mind that's telling him not to and walks into the emergency room, wondering when Rachel will crack and tell someone what he's shared with her. She probably will and he half expects Finn to be following him. He looks behind himself and there's no sign of his soon-to-be stepbrother, so he is relieved. He parks the car and gets out. He's going to the hospital to check on Dave Karofsky. He's completely lost his mind.

He walks inside. The hospital is like most hospitals, crowded and cold. It's the same hospital his father had been rushed to a few months back. It reminds Kurt far too much of that experience, those terrifying days, as well as losing his mother in a packed, icy and terrifying hospital upstate eight years earlier. He hates hospitals with a burning passion. He does not want to be here and he especially does not want to be here for Dave Karofsky.

He approaches the front desk and the woman there looks at him, expecting him to speak up.

"Hi," he says still very unsure of just about everything. "A - erm, friend of mine was rushed here from our school. I was wondering how he was." Calling Karofsky a friend kind of disturbs Kurt but he figures that will work much better than anything else he could call him.

"Oh yes," she says. "I know who you're talking about. His injuries were treated and he's waiting for a parent to come get him. Emergency room is open. You can see him. First curtained off section right here. I'll take you." She gets up and gestures him to follow before Kurt can think no, he doesn't want to go see Karofsky.

He's quickly shown the tiny curtained off area. He hesitates but gently moves the curtain. Karofsky is sitting on the cot-style hospital bed and looking vacantly off into the distances. He does not seem like himself at all, though who could blame him after what he's gone through.

"He's a bit off from painkillers," the receptionist warns.

Kurt coughs low, to make himself known.

The boy looks at him with hazy eyes. "Hummel," he mumbles. "What the hell are you doing here?" His emotional range was never too big but Kurt is surprised at jut how dull and void of emotion he really is. He seems like he doesn't care, or maybe that's the drugs talking.

"I...wanted to make sure you were okay," he says and that's true. It's not every day you see someone getting the crap beat out of them and and have the power to stop it. He doesn't have to like Karofsky to care about his well being. Karofsky's not talking so Kurt keeps going. "Its not okay what he did to you."

"I asked for it, telling him," Karofsky says, every word coming out of him so hollow. He slurs a little more by the second and his eyes are glassy. This is probably not the best time to be having a heart to heart talk. "Spose I deserved it anyway. Finally get the shit beat outta me after all I did. You can laugh. I know you wanna laugh. Please...laugh." Karofsky shakes his head and Kurt can see tears in his eyes. The last word that Karofsky spoke, "laugh," lingers in his ears and Kurt realizes how much pain is behind it.

Kurt sighs deeply. "I don't want to laugh at you. You got hurt."

Karofsky laughs loudly.

"Fags always get what's coming to em Hummel ain't it true? You either fight or get taken down."

"You don't have to bully to...look, you're drugged up. Can we talk later?" He's sure that it's one talk that will never come, but he just has to make this stop.

"Mhm," Karofsky says and lays back.

Kurt is ready to leave (he's okay, see? he tells himself) when a man walks in. He's big and burly, with greying hair. Dave really is the spitting image of his father. They look quite alike. he looks concerned for his osn. "Dave, what the hell happened?" he asks, deeply concerned.

Kurt pauses. He stays despite his incredible urge to go. He can't imagine what Karofsky will inadvertently reveal to his father.

"Told Azimio the truth," he says with a sleepy smile. Yeah that is sort of what Kurt was worried about him saying. He is going to reveal his secret now, most likely. "He beat the shit outta me and you're gonna want to."

Kurt panics. He knows that he has the best support system in the world, but judging by the comment Karofsky did not. He looks to Karofsky Senior, wondering what he's going to do and if he's really capable of hurting his kid. "Why don't you wait until you have a chance to come down and feel better, before you and your dad talk," he says, quickly, hoping it delays something from coming.

Karofsky's father looks perturbed and angry and Karofsky is totally clueless. Kurt is caught in the middle.

"I'm a total fag!" Karofsky yells. Oh god. It wasn't going to be delayed. "I'm totally pathetic and I want fairyboy here so goddamned bad it hurts."

Kurt breathes deeply, stunned by the impact of the confession. He knows that the other teenager is so drugged up he can't think straight, but still it hurts his heart. Karofsky Senior looks at Kurt and frowns, probably realizing that his son isn't coherent at the moment. "What the hell's my son saying?" he asks Kurt.

Kurt chokes and swallows. "First remember that he's really drugged up..." Kurt says.

"I can tell," the man responds quickly.

"He told Azimio that he likes guys," Kurt says softly, unable to really hide it. Maybe it will come easier from someone who's not drugged and ranting. He hopes that he's doing the right thing. "He told and got beat up for it. I came in and stopped it but it got too far."

There is a long pause. Kurt swallows, hoping to avoid any kind of freak out or parental panic. This guy can't be as bad as it seems he could be. The man looks to Kurt, back to his battered son who is starting to fall asleep.

"You his boyfriend or something?" he finally asks Kurt softly. Kurt can see the wheels going off in his head.

Kurt shakes his head. "No," he says. "I'm his...friend. He knew I was openly gay so I'm the first one he came out to." It's not a nice lie but it's a decent one to give a parent.

"What's your name?"

"Kurt Hummel sir," he says respectfully, hoping that the man's not in shock and that the blow out wont come after when Kurt can't defend the Karofsky.

"Hummel. I know your dad."

"Don't hate me," Dave mumbles, a little loudly, eyes still closed.

"I don't hate ya kid," his father responds. "I don't get any of this shit but we'll talk later. Um, Hummel. Tell your father that Karofsky's gonna call. He'll remember me from high school."

He nods. "Kay. Bye." Kurt hurries out of there and hopes everything is alright.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt comes home and his father is concerned. He gets up and approaches Kurt quickly. He has the dad face on and Kurt knows he's not going to get too far without an explanation, not this time. He has to explain what he can to his father, even if the idea kills him. "Kurt are you alright?" he asks gently. "I couldn't get a hold of you so I called Finn. Finn called his girlfriend and she said you went to the hospital to check on some beat up hockey player. What's going on?"

"I'm fine Dad," he says evenly. "I walked in on Dave Karofsky getting beaten up and pulled the attacker off of him. I had to run to the hospital to see how he was. His dad came and..."

"Karofsky. I knew him in high school."

Kurt nods and sits down. "Yes I know. He's actually gonna call you. He told me to tell you that."

"Why? I haven't seen Karofsky in a couple years. Probably since before you started high school."

And before his son started torturing me relentlessly, Kurt can't help but think. He wonders how well that friendship would have flourished if it had stayed in tact.

"Karofsky, his kid I mean...he got beat up cause he came out. If I'm right I think his dad wants advice on how to deal with it."

Kurt finds that amusing honestly. The boy who's tortured him for a seriously long time needs him and his father needs Kurt's father. It's like some sick twisted thing that's amusing as hell, if one can back away from it for a second and look at how deliciously ironic it is.

Burt frowns and Kurt can see his mind working.

"Oh man Kurt," he says after a moment. "Did you know his kid well before this?"

Kurt laughs. First confiding in Rachel Berry and now he's going to be open with his dad. The world was on it's head today. "He's made a high school career of torturing me for being gay. Until a few weeks ago when I confronted him and a shove into a locker turned into a kiss." Kurt quickly realizes that maybe that was a lot to lay on his poor father. He doesn't want to give Burt a second heart attack.

"Sorry," he says. "I just...am way confused and my mental censors are now turned off. I have this crazy urge to help Karofsky. Is that weird?"

"No," his father says after what feels like an eternity of a half of waiting. He figures that is an awful lot to process. "I'd definitely warn you against getting close or lettin' him kiss you again, cause if he does being gay and bullies are the least of his worries."

Kurt cracks a smile at his father's attempted comfort. "Thanks Dad."

"But," he says wisely. "Not every kid can be as comfortable with their sexuality as you were from the start. Some kids are gonna be scared and insecure. It may come out in a horrible way..."

Kurt nodded. "So Karofsky deserves some um, consideration and a deeper look," he said using Rachel's words. He sat closer to his father. "What was his dad like?"

"Karofsky and I were pretty alike," Burt says shrugging a little. "Jocks. Not the smartest. We hung around in the same social circle but I don't remember that much. That was ages ago and we kinda fell outta touch as we got older, even though we both stuck around town."

Kurt nods. "Was Karofsky a bully?" he asks, simply. He has to know. "Did he say things about gay people?"

Burt is uncomfortable and Kurt already knows the answer. "Kurt, I've already told you that I wasn't the smartest guy in high school. I said mean spirited things and...yeah Karofsky kind of was a bully. Smack a kid into a locker, that kind of stuff. Like father like son I guess, considering what his kid's done to you. Stupid, stupid things. Not every kid gets blessed with being as smart as you. I was a dumb kid, so was he. He really needs to talk about his kid doesn't he?"

"I'm afraid he'll hurt him," he says.

"I'm sure that's not gonna happen. I grew up and so will he. He might not be comfortable with his kid being gay and Kurt I admit I wasn't comfortable at first. At all. Being raised in small town Ohio messes with your head. You get raised a certain way and you see no reason to doubt everything you ever learned or just knew..."

He breathed deep with the effort of what he was saying, looking Kurt directly in the eyes and taking his hand.

"Then you see your gay son struggling through day to day life, and yet being braver than you could ever hope to be; then, you rethink those lessons learned really quick. You realize that what you grew up knowin' was just a messed up outlook."

Kurt feels tears prickling his eyes and his dad's eyes are tearing up too. "Thank you," he says.

"No, thank you Kurt. You're an awesome, brave kid and Karofsky's son needs you."

Kurt sighs and rubs his forehead. "I'm gonna go downstairs and do my homework. I'll be up in a few to say goodnight."

When he gets upstairs, instead, he checks his cell phone. There is one text message. He thinks it's probably from Blaine, or maybe Mercedes considering the word about what happened was spreading like wildfire. No. It's Rachel, oddly enough.

\- Kurt, you ok?

It's funny. If he's thought about Rachel in the past, it's been with contempt, jealousy and annoyance. She still isn't his favorite person in the world but he appreciates the friendship building between them. He lays back on his bed and looks up at the ceiling. He texts her back before he goes to actually do that homework he told his dad about.

\- Yes. Giving it a deeper look.


	4. It's never easy.

When he finds Karofsky next, he's being yelled at by the hockey coach. Kurt has never really paid him mind but the coach is a big, beefy man who makes Karofsky look small even. It doesn’t help that Karofsky seems quite intimidated by this man. "I don't care Dave," he barks. "I don't care that you jumped on the train to queerville and are nursing a couple bumps and bruises. I want you back on your A game or it's your spot on the team at risk."

Kurt winces. He's sure there's some kind of regulation against public school employees treating students this way but this is McKinley High. Karofsky nods like a submissive kicked puppy. "I'll do better, sir."

"You best," the man barks, leaving.

Kurt steps in. "That was harsh," he says to make himself known.

Karofsky faces him and Kurt gasps. The bruises aren't fresh anymore but the color has become far more intense. Karofsky's whole face is swollen up. "Pretty picture ain't I?" he asks, laughing. "And of course getting the shit kicked outta you is no excuse in hockey. That's the game."

He looks into Kurt's eyes for a fleeting moment then looks away. "So, you were at the hospital?"

Kurt nods.

"I figured," he says. "I wake up to my dad telling me he doesn't hate me, even if I am dating the fairyboy. What the hell did they slip me at that hospital?"

Kurt shrugs. "Painkillers," he mumbles.

"I must've let it all loose."

"You sorta did," Kurt admits. "Was your dad upset?"

Dave sighs. "He didn't kill me. Good start eh? He told me he gets how guys like you turn into homos but not guys like me. Then he said that...if this was my choice I could never let someone beat me down again. I need to fight back harder. Get tougher."

"Not advice in the best taste," Kurt mumbles. "He acted like you being gay was a character flaw to get over."

"He didn't kill me and he says he doesn't hate me."

"You take what you can get," Kurt says sympathetically. "If you ever need any help..."

Dave shakes his head. "No. Dad's right. I'm not you. I won't lie back and take it. If I'm gonna be a fag, I'm gonna be one that fights back."

He leaves and Kurt feels that didn't go so well.

He tries to remind himself not all people react the same to things like this.

This is odd. He goes to the choir room next, hoping to run into Rachel. This is definitely an unexpected friendship. He finds her on the piano, the final strains of whatever she was singing vanishing into thin air. "Hey," he says looking at her. "Thank you for sending that text. I needed it."

Rachel looks up like she's been caught in her own private universe. "Oh Kurt, hi," she says. "It's no problem, of course. I was concerned."

He doesn't say a thing before sitting at the piano. "It's confusing," he says honestly. "He confessed he was gay to his dad in a drugged up stupor...and now he's determined to fight back anyone who comes at him, per his father's advice that if you're gonna be gay - be a tough and demanding gay."

Rachel sits down next to him. "People react to gay stuff funny," she says. "My aunt used to do that to my dad. Try and make sure he wasn't um, sissy or whatever. Like…I know what you mean Kurt.”

Kurt groans.

"I didn't want a pet project in Dave Karofsky but...I care about this."

"You know, this school needs a GSA."

Typical Rachel, fight confusion with clubs and organizations. He had to agree though. "I tried to start one freshman year," she says. "But I couldn't get the required support and then glee club distracted me and...We could so get the support if we worked together."

“You think?” he asks.

She nods, enthusiastically. “With my talent for organization and your social skills, we could be totally unbeatable Kurt.”

“We’d have to recruit some people with pull in the school,” he says. “I can ask Brittany. If she comes, chances are Santana will show and…hm, I bet people will come out of curiosity, honestly. We need a club advisor though, or something like that.”

“We can figure that out later,” Rachel says decisively. “We have to get like a petition going though. Last time I tried to petition for something it lead to a lot of slushies and a lot of humiliation. The key is going to be working together to get people to sign it.”

“We’ll just have to be bold about it,” Kurt says decisively. “What’s the worse they can do?”

He likes being on Rachel’s side about something. They work really well together. Plotting, crafting, Kurt is feeling very good about himself for once. He’s helping Karofsky, even if Karofsky’s confusing the heck out of him, and he and Rachel seem to have something good going.

What more can a person really ask for?

“We need to go over the details.”

“Wanna come over?” he asks, surprising himself. “It’s still pretty early, and we can go figure things out down in my room. It’s a lot of space and stuff.” One good thing about being gay, he thinks, his dad will never question his going into his room with girls. Sure, there was the Brittany thing but that wasn’t happening again. Plus, his dad knows his opinion of Rachel has never been the highest.

She agrees and Kurt drives Rachel back to his place. He unlocks the door and can hear his dad talking on the phone. “Wait Rachel,” he says, listening.

"I know it's confusing, man, trust me, I know."

“Karofsky’s dad,” he whispers, heading to the stairway to his room but stopping to listen.

“Isn’t this like eavesdropping?” Rachel asks.

“Yes,” Kurt says but keeps listening.

"You gotta stop using words like that, okay?"

Kurt can only really imagine what kind of words Karofsky Senior has decided to use. He sits down on the step and defeated Rachel sits down next to him.

"My kid is an amazing young man. He's strong, self-confident and he's going to make something amazing out of himself. His sexuality does not make any difference in that, and to be honest, I'm glad Kurt's gay. It opened my eyes to a lot of things I may not have seen otherwise or understood."

Rachel smiles at him. “Your dad is awesome,” she says honestly.

Kurt nods.

"The boy needs you. He was obviously petrified to death of being gay, if his first reaction was to bully the resident gay kid."

Kurt loves the way his father talks, strong and confident. He admires that so much about him.

"He was a bully and awful to my son, but he can change with the right guidance."

Kurt gets up and grabs a hand to help Rachel up.

"Cut the fag talk and stop talking about how you want your kid to beat up the kid who hurt him. That isn't helping him. Knowing his parents support him and aren't gonna talk about being gay like it's a - character flaw or something. That's gonna help him."

He smiles because his dad uses the exact words he did.

“Yeah, bye. Sure. I’ll swing by after the shop closes.” Burt hangs up and looks over at the stairway. “Kurt Hummel, you’re a horrible eavesdropper. Hi Rachel, Finn’s not here.”

Kurt blushes, face turning red and lets out an undignified squeal. “Dad!”

“Well it’s the truth,” Burt says, giving them a little smile.

“I’m not here to see Finn,” Rachel says, just as embarrassed as Kurt, if not more. “Kurt and I are working on some plans.”

“I see.”

“Thanks dad,” Kurt mumbles, embarrassed. "For everything, really. I saw Karofsky today...this isn't gonna be easy."

"No, it really isn't."


	5. Start the conversations.

Dave comes home to his dad talking loudly on the phone to who he presumes quickly to be Kurt Hummel’s father. He’s seen Kurt’s dad, once or twice. He’s a big guy, happy looking, a mechanic of some kind. He’s not the type you’d assume would be okay with the gay thing, but he totally is. He seems like a good parent and if Hummel’s reaction to his own dad indicated anything – probably good with the gay stuff.

 _“I don’t want my son to be a fag!”_

It reminds him of the fights he used to have with his cousins when they were all of five years old. “I don’t want this!” “You can’t do that!” His father is whining and clinging at straws. It hurts, worse than he cares to admit. All that acceptance bullcrap is nice but it’s not how his dad really feels. It’s not ever how his dad’s going to feel. He can preach all of the love crap that he wanted but he is never going to be Kurt’s dad.

He hates that word. All the times he’s flung it, it fucking hurts coming at him when the man thinks he isn’t listening. I may be, he thinks, _but I don’t wanna be._

 _"How can you be okay with what your kid is?"_

He takes off his jacket. It is a good question. Dave doesn’t know how to be okay with what he is. Why should he expect his father to be okay with it? Kurt’s father has to be some kind of saint to be. He wonders what the other man is answering. He wants to know. He wants to know if Burt Hummel is actually some secret saint that can handle crap nobody else should.

 _"I can't handle Dave being like that. At least your kid looks like..."_

He winces. He doesn’t look gay but that’s partially because he’s been trying so hard to make sure nobody notices. As long as he bulks up, beats around kids like Kurt Hummel, nobody knows his secret.

It was a good solution before he snapped.

It isn’t such a good solution any longer.

He hopes that Burt Hummel doesn’t hang up or yell at his dad. His dad needs some of that jedi-gay-dad knowledge.

 _"Dave isn't..."_

Isn’t what?

He groans. He should not be eavesdropping on this.

 _"I don't know how, Burt."_

He gets up and slowly walks towards his bedroom.

“Can I see you in person?” his father asks Burt Hummel and he shuts the door. He’s losing his goddamned mind and it’s not fair at all. He can’t breathe, he can’t function and it’s all because he had to go out himself to his best friend.

He misses Azimio. He knows that anyone who asked would totally dismiss that sadness, but he does. Maybe it’s the gay in him, guys aren’t supposed to have feelings like this, but he misses his best friend. They had always been really cool. They could tell each other everything.

Until his best friend beat him mercilessly for who he was.

This isn’t the path that Dave wants to take and he hates to admit it but he feels more scared than ever. He doesn’t have anyone. The guys on the team hate him almost as much as the coach does. He can’t go seek out Kurt and the glee club losers, because, well he just can’t.

No, he really, really can’t.

There’s homework to do, but he ignores it.

He should go talk to his dad or…find out if his mom knows yet or something (highly unlikely she’s never around). He should be more proactive in some way but he can’t. He should be doing something to make this right, but he just can’t. There’s nothing right about it.

He ends up falling asleep.

 

He comes to school the next morning, to find Hummel with that Berry chick, sitting at the lunch tables with some kind of petition. Asian chick from the glee club is signing it and saying something animatedly. He watches them and Kurt meets his eye.

He hands the petition thing over to the girls and before Dave can object is talking to him.

“Hi,” he says soft.

“Hi,” he mumbles back, because what else can he do? He’s so tired lately, so damned tired that he’s beyond insults or anything else he could hurl at the kid. It hurts just to think. He hasn’t slept in days and his head just hurts so bad that it’s sickening

“How are you doing?” Kurt asks, gentle. “I heard my dad on the phone with your dad last night…”

Odd. So did he.

He shrugs a little bit. “Didn’t go so hot I don’t think,” he says laughing faintly.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt mumbles. “I just…I wanted to let you know that Rachel and I are starting a much needed GSA on campus. We’re going to make it a supportive, comfortable place for people to just be themselves. You’d be quite welcome there. You can join us in glee too, though I can’t say for sure how Finn and his people would react.”

“GSA?” he asked.

“Yeah, a gay straight alliance. Though I insisted to Rachel we have a better acronym that encompasses gays, straights, bisexuals, transgendered people and…”

He stops when he realizes correctly that Dave has no clue what the fuck he’s saying.

“You’d be welcome,” Kurt mumbles and he nods a little bit.

“Thanks,” he says and goes to find a place to hang for the lunch period.

He signs the petition when Asian chick, no, Tina, walks around asking people. She looks at him confused. Doesn’t she know he’s the new resident gay kid? It’s a small thing but he hopes it helps. God knows that the pair of them need it, the crap they’re about to get.

He’s getting a taste of it himself and doesn’t even flinch when the slushie hits him in the face that afternoon. He’s kind of been leveled to one of them now.


	6. Fighting

Tina approaches Kurt quickly, looking absolutely confused. “What is it?” Kurt asks, when she sets the petition down on the table between them (with a few more signatures, he notices happily). “Tina, you okay?”

She nods. “Yeah,” she says. “It’s just that you will never believe who just signed the petition…”

Kurt knows the answer, it surprises him, but he knows it. Still it shocks him a little when she says, “Karofsky. Kurt, I totally don’t understand.”

Okay, the shock is understandable but certainly she knows what’s been going on. “Well you know what happened with Karofsky,” he says, soft. It had been the biggest piece of gossip in the whole school for the last couple of weeks and it had not exactly been a silent issue in glee club either, considering Kurt’s involvement. “He got outed to the whole school Tina…”

“No,” she admits sheepishly.

“Where have you been?” he asks. He knows Tina tries to be good and avoid gossip, but there’s no way on earth that she could have avoided this one. Nobody could have avoided at least hearing about this one.

Tina laughs, sheepishly. “Well Mike’s psychopathic mother has been on a business trip for the past few weeks and the alone time has been…enjoyable.”

“Ew,” Kurt says, quickly. “TMI Tina. Do not start ranting about his abs or I’m gone. They seriously can’t be good enough to make the whole world disappear-no wait, don’t answer that.”

Tina relents. “What happened Kurt?” she asks.

He can’t believe he has to tell this story again. “Well,” he says. “I was heading home after staying late when I heard some shouting coming from the locker room. It was Azimio, shouting at Karofsky. I knew that Karofsky was gay. I hadn’t told anyone cause well…it’s a really personal thing you know, and he had kissed me a few weeks earlier in what has to have been the single most desperate act of frustration I have ever played witness to in my life. I knew that Karofsky was in trouble, when I kept hearing fag thrown around and stuff.”

It sounds so funny when he says it out loud in one long ramble. It was such a pivotal event in his life that saying it like that seems to make it sound a lot less important.

“Wait, Karofsky kissed you?” she asks. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt says. “I guess because I’m the only openly gay guy here? Anyway. He had come out to Azimio and the guy was beating the crap out of him. It was horrible. I did the only thing I could think of. I flew at him, tried to get him off of the guy.”

Tina gasps, loudly. “Kurt, you could have got yourself killed!”

He laughs. “Trust me Tina, I know.” He wasn’t thinking about himself at all during that time, but when he thought about the event in hindsight, it was all he could think about. He had sort of almost died. “I probably would have died honestly, if not for Coach Beiste. I should really thank whoever hired that woman. She walked in and it was over…but Azimio’s outed Karofsky to the whole school, I’m quite sure, because they all know.”

“I would have never known he was gay,” she says softly. “All of the horrible things he’s said about you in the past…”

“It kind of makes it even sadder,” he says honestly. “I mean all those things he said, he was saying about himself. It sucks. I just hate that he trusted someone close to him too and that person turned their back on him, beat him and let it out to the entire school. I hated him for years, he targeted me and took my first kiss, and I kept it a secret.”

Tina seems overwhelmed by the information and just sits quietly. “I’m sorry,” she says.

It’s funny how she had no idea about the event, because it’s all he can think about. He spends the rest of the school day with Dave Karofsky on his mind. He cannot stop thinking about the boy: his struggles, how bad he hurts, just everything about him. It’s not fair that there people like Dave Karofsky in the world – so afraid just to be who they are.

He is so absorbed in his thoughts that he does not notice the boys following him.

A big hand lands on his shoulder and spins him around, pinning him against a locker. He looks up to find himself face to face with three members of the McKinley high hockey team. He’s seen them pal around with Karofsky and Azimio once or twice before. He’s scared, but looks confident. “What do you three want?” he asks, crossing his arms. This is the only way he knows how to deal with people like this.

“I think you know,” says the middle one, a tall, wide boy with short dark hair. “Thanks to you Hummel, our team is headed straight down the toilet. Azimio’s gonna get his ass expelled and Karofsky’s joined you in fagland and is useless. I think you deserve to pay us back for that.”

“I’m not a hockey fan,” he quips, trying to keep it up. He’s definitely afraid of them but won’t let it show. “I don’t see how I contributed to your team’s failures in the slightest.”

He takes off for his car, which in hindsight, he is going to see as a very bad idea. He just wants to get out. He’s followed. He stumbles, hitting the ground. A bigger body lands on top of his. For all of the awful things that have happened to him at McKinley High, he’s never exactly been totally beaten up.

It’s a weird thing to think just before a fist catches him in the stomach. He kicks the boy on top of him. It doesn’t do much. He tries to remember something from Cheerios practice last year. He presses a foot into the boy’s stomach and spins them around so that he’s on top.

The second boy lunges for Kurt but he’s stopped. Karofsky. It’s so cheesy that Kurt can’t help laugh, jumping up, a little winded.

“Ugh, seriously, just back the fuck off.”

Karofsky looks too tired to really fight anyone off, so it’s kind of a half-assed rescue attempt but it’s amusing at the least.

The guys are definitely laughing.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” one asks, laughing so ridiculously hard that Kurt rolls his eyes.

Karofsky groans. “Hummel, get to your car ok? Go home. I’ll handle this.”

“Handle it?” the third who hadn’t yet spoken asked. “Like Azimio woulda killed you if this one hadn’t got in the way.”

Kurt looks at Karofsky and knows it isn’t true. He had been thinking about the attack a lot lately and he knows that the bigger boy definitely let Azimio go at him, shocked and guilty and devastated by the loss of his best friend. He could kick ass if he wanted to.

“Look dude,” Karofsky says. “There are teachers right over there. I doubt you wanna be the next failure to the hocky team.”

While they’re contemplating this and Mr. Reed gets a little bit too close, Karofsky follows Kurt out to his car.


	7. I'm gay, you're gay.

Kurt feels weird with Dave Karofsky sitting in his car next to him. It’s uncomfortable, to a degree and it’s obvious that the other boy feels the same way. “Thanks for saving me there,” Kurt says, and he feels hesitant to thank Karofsky because, yeah, their past doesn’t really welcome room for thanks.

“It’s no problem,” Karofsky responds, quietly. It’s really like he doesn’t care anymore. It’s sad, hopeless and Kurt hopes that something comes along to change that tone sooner or later.

“Are you doing alright?” Kurt asks, curiously. He knows that Karofsky’s taking the brunt of some new bullying, just as intense as anything Kurt’s ever endured. Despite the fact that the other boy was on the other side of the metaphorical slushie cup just weeks ago, Kurt can’t help worry a little bit.

The only response he gets is a shrug.

“I know it’s hard,” Kurt says, “to get bullied and stuff.”

“Kinda deserve it,” Karofsky says and it reminds Kurt way too much of the way he acted in the hospital. It’s haunting. Kurt’s not a bad guy. As many times as he’s dreamed of the revenge he’d get against those who hurt him, this isn’t it.

He changes the subject.

“I heard my dad talking to yours,” he says. “Like I said and…it didn’t sound good. If you need some time to just get away from all of that… you can always come by or whatever. My dad and I don’t mind at all, though he’s getting married to Finn’s mom soon and they might mind, just a little.”

Karofsky nods, surprisingly. “Cool. Yeah. Can I ask you a question?”

That surprises Kurt.

“Of course,” he says. His shock is still kind of obvious.

“How did you first know you were…gay?”

Kurt sits back. “We better drive, before those cavemen over there decide to follow after.” He starts the car. “Okay with coming over?”

Karofsky nods.

Kurt starts the car. “My dad says he knew since I was like three,” Kurt says, laughing very lightly. “I guess I kinda knew around like fiveish that I was different but the big gay realization didn’t hit me until I was almost thirteen, in junior high.”

“How?” Karofsky asks.

“How does a guy realize he’s straight?” Kurt asks, with a slightly wistful smile, as the memories come flooding back. “I got a crush on a guy.”

Long before the day of Finn Hudson, there had been Josh, another guy in Kurt’s seventh grade English class.

Karofsky looks out the window and Kurt keeps talking about his childhood crush.

“By this time, the fag comments and jokes had already hit me full force,” Kurt says, and he thinks he sees a flinch of upset in Karofsky’s face. “I realized that they were right. I was gay, and it kind of sucked. I didn’t come out until early last year though, you know.”

“Why would you?” the boy huffs softly. “It’s not worth it.”

“It actually was worth it,” Kurt counters. “My friends were perfectly okay with it. They had already known. My father gave me the ‘I knew since you were three’ speech and I felt a little silly for hiding it for so long. Course, Mercedes’ crush on me kinda sucked but…it was better being who I was. It always is better being who you are.”

“Must be nice,” Karofsky says as they get closer to Kurt’s home.

“I know it must have hurt, having your best friend turn on you,” Kurt says. He can’t imagine how it felt to be hated by someone you trusted so much. If one of his best friends had done what Azimio had done, he would have been very close to killing himself – he was sure. “He’s an idiot. For your sexuality to mean more to him than the past you guys have, it sucks.”

Karofsky shrugs. “Whatever.”

"How about you?" he asks. "How did you figure out that you were...gay?"

It was an uncomfortable thing to ask a boy who was not comfortable with his sexuality, and would not have been publicly out if not for the fact that it was thrown around the whole school. Kurt wishes he hadn't asked the second that it comes out of his mouth and he sees the haunted look on the other boy's face.

"Bout the same age," he mumbles low. "That's the age when kids start lookin' at porn, yeah? Well my friends had some and there was just...nothing. Then there was you."

Kurt stops, turns to look at Karofsky and feels like he's a little bit frozen in place.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing."

Kurt shakes his head. He needs to stuff some emotions into that boy’s head. He’ll do it sooner or later but that conversation is far too uncomfortable to have right now. He stops the car.

“My dad doesn’t work Fridays since his heart attack,” Kurt warns, as they get out of the car. “He’s definitely gonna be at the door.”

They walk in and like he’s supposed to be, Burt Hummel is right there.

“Hi dad,” Kurt says, softly. “This is…um, you know, Karofsky.”

Burt looks from Kurt to Dave and Kurt swears the former bully is ready to cower back, but he’s looking at Burt in a sort of awe.

Burt smiles, somewhat awkwardly. “Dave is it?” he asks. “Your father and I were pretty close friends way back when. He was a fantastic athlete. Triple threat with all the sports he played.”

Karofsky nods, awkwardly. “Yeah. Um. Thanks.”

“What are you boys doing here so early?” Burt asks.

Kurt looks to Karofsky and shakes his head. “There were some guys giving us both a hard time so I asked him to come over,” he says seriously. “You don’t mind do you?”

“No, no,” Burt says, dismissively. “Just…leave the door open and stuff.”

Kurt laughs. He can’t help himself. He’s gay, Dave Karofsky is gay, but he can’t help the tiny laugh to leave him. Just because Karofsky likes guys doesn’t mean that Kurt’s going to do anything with him. Years of bullying just don’t erase like that. He thinks it’s cute and a little bit on the homophobic side but he doesn’t call his father out on either of those things. He just looks at Karofsky, then back to his dad and nods.

“Totally cool with that,” he says, laughing again.


	8. Blessed with your smile.

Dave looks around the room. He doesn’t know what he expects to see in Kurt Hummel’s bedroom, but this is pretty close. It’s nice, kind of like a girl’s room, but there aren’t prancing unicorns or any of the things he used to imagine to convince himself he was disgusted by Kurt. Nah, it was pretty normal.

“You look a little bit surprised by what you see,” Kurt says. “By the way, it’s safe to sit down.”

Dave sits down. “I don’t know what I expected,” he says. “Sorry.”

“Nah its okay,” Kurt says. He wonders if Kurt realized just how much he had thought about him. It would probably scare him, creep him out and make him kick Dave out immediately. It’s not like it was something he could help. Kurt was just always there, reminding him of the part of himself that he had tried so valiantly to hide.

He was always obsessed, in love with who Kurt Hummel is. He still is.

He tries to think of something to say.

“Listening to your dad,” he says. “And just meeting him, he seems unbelievable.” It’s true. He really can’t imagine a father that is so supportive of his son, and just loves him no matter what he does. His dad’s always been decent, but there were always certain expectations to live with. No matter what Kurt Hummel does, it seems his dad loves him and respects his choice. That’s pretty intense and like nothing he’s ever known.

Kurt looks at him and he sees something – pity? – flash through his eyes. He hates to be pitied.

“My dad is awesome,” Kurt says softly, seriously. “He’s always been there for me when I needed him, even more since my mom died when I was little. How does he seem unbelievable to you though?”

Dave feels caught off guard. “He just doesn’t seem to care about any of your gay stuff or anything. He doesn’t seem like he’d mind whatever you end up doing.”

Kurt smiles some. “You know, our dads came from the exact same background right? Old friends, if you will. My dad told me that he really spent a lot of time learning how to understand things that he didn’t understand. I think that your dad could do the same pretty quickly, if he’s just given the right time and encouragement.”

“I wish,” Dave says, without even thinking about it.

“Your dad’s important to you too, isn’t he?” Kurt asks soft.

He nods. “Mhm,” he offers. “He’s always been there. My mom works for this…high end whatever company and my dad has always been the one at home and around. We always just got on really well.”

“I don’t think he’s a bad person,” Kurt offers softly.

“I guess I don’t either.”

He can’t think of his father as a bad person. It’s why he thinks of Kurt’s father as some kind of super dad, because if his father can’t accept who he is, then it must be abnormal for other people to do it. It has to be superhuman.

“I think my dad will help him,” Kurt offers, quietly, looking obviously uncomfortable. “He’s really good with talking people down, even though he’s not the most eloquent person out there. He knows what your dad’s going through; though I know he went through it with me, when I was a lot younger. I…I’m rambling, sorry.”

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” Dave says, looking at Kurt and suddenly he remembers just how infatuated with Kurt he’s been. There had been so many times that he wanted to kiss him, tell him just what he made him feel, and he failed, because he was so afraid. He is so completely infatuated with Kurt, with the person who is so proud of who he is, so bold and so gorgeous. “I’m sorry. I’m just not really sure what to say.”

Kurt looks him in the eyes and blurts out, “Why did you kiss me?”

He coughs. Kurt can say anything in the world, but of course he chooses to ask that question. Dave doesn’t even know. He didn’t know the second he did it and he doesn’t know now. Kurt had just always been that symbol of what he wanted to be. Seeing it flaunted in his face, it had become so tempting, so wonderful, so perfect, until finally he snapped and took what he wanted from it.

He has feelings for Kurt too, but doesn’t want to say that because it’s an inappropriate time to do so.

“You,” he says, “you were just always there – reminding me that I was…you know.”

“Gay,” Kurt says, pointedly.

“It’s easy to forget for awhile, sometimes,” he says. “It’s easy to go along like everything’s normal.”

Kurt pouts. “So I was just the reminder to you that gay people exist and some of us are proud of ourselves?” It almost seems like he’s angry but Dave does see the slight curve to his lips, the way that he’s trying not to smile.

“That and…you always amazed me, because you were everything I couldn’t be. They, no we, hurled abuse at you and you…took it, gracefully and came to school the next morning looking the same.”

“You know, a good way to keep yourself safe woulda been to back off of me,” Kurt says. “Show people that messing with someone who’s gay isn’t okay.”

“I know, I know,” he says, glancing around the room again. He can’t believe all of the things that make Kurt Hummel who he is. He hates to admit it but now that he’s out (against his will but still) and has the popularity of a glee club kid, he’s kind of just enjoying it, and falling a little bit harder. Stupid, silly, but it had always been a stupid and silly infatuation.

Now he was at least sitting in Kurt’s room, being blessed with the ability to see Kurt smile.

“You’ll catch on,” Kurt says.


	9. Chapter 9

The First Annual McKinley High GSA Meeting is perfect.

Kurt can’t help smile as Rachel rambles at their attendees about the events they have planned for later in the year. The room isn’t full by any means but their friends and those close to them have created a comfortable club atmosphere. Most of the glee club is there to support them, as well as a few others. Jacob is there, because Kurt convinced Rachel that they needed the press and they couldn’t create an atmosphere of seclusion. No, he doesn’t like it much either.

There are balloons, rainbow shaped cookies, and people are getting used to the idea of the club. Kurt can’t ask for much more.

Well, he can, really. The meeting has been going on for twenty minutes and there is still no sign of Dave Karofsky.

“And we’re going to need many volunteers to help run Lima, Ohio’s first pride event…in ever!” Rachel says loudly, right as Karofsky walks in. Kurt feels extreme relief, wondering what kept him so long. He then notices the way his face looks. He looks exhausted, eyes lined with dark circles and he’s pale, scared. He looks close to terrified and Kurt wants to know why.

“You ok?” Kurt mouths.

He nods. He sits down next to Brittany. He’s kind of spaced out though, like he’s not aware that the club is kind of staring at him. After all he’s hot gossip and they can’t resist – they’re teenagers aren’t they?

Kurt takes the fliers Rachel has given him to pass out and hands them over to Brittany. “Hey… uh, Brittany, can you help me pass these out?” he asks, and she nods, beaming in excitement. This gives him some time to find out what the heck is going on. He sits down in the seat she vacates. “What’s going on?” he asks, knowing that something bad has happened.

Dave doesn’t even look straight at him, just says, “He’s gonna be back tomorrow. On probation.”

Kurt is kind of floored. He can’t believe that the school would just let someone back after what he had brutally done to his best friend. “Oh my god,” he says, and he can’t help clasping his hand over his mouth for a second because he’s afraid of what might pop out of his mouth if he lets it. He just can’t believe that. He had seen what a bloody mess the other boy had left Karofsky. It was kind of terrifying what he was capable of.

Karofsky is obviously experiencing other fears though.

“Oh,” Kurt mumbles, looking into his eyes. “You’re not worried he’ll do it again are you?”

Dave shakes his head and he can see the real fears, even before he states them. “I just…I want him back around you know?” he asks. “I mean…I’m not dumb Kurt. I don’t think what he did to me was okay but, hell, I would have done the same once upon a time. I mean, before this was out to the world and everyone turned on me…”

“You would have killed to keep that secret,” Kurt says, “but what he did to you was out of cold hate or something.”

‘Maybe not,” he says, and that surprises Kurt. “This is Lima. You’re expected to freak when your best friend reveals he’s a big fat queer to you. I dunno. Do you think you could work some of that magic on him? Do you think there’s a way that he could start to figure this out?”

Kurt is quiet.

“I mean, dude, we were best friends since we were all of six years old. I can’t believe that just cause I’ve been looking at you instead of a slutty cheerleader, I’m gonna lose my best friend of ten years…”

“I know,” Kurt mumbles.

“But trust me, he won’t get me again. I let him…I was guilty and confused and…I just let him. I’m taking my dad’s advice Kurt. I won’t mess up again.”

“If there’s a way that I can help some, that don’t end up with me getting my face punched in,” Kurt says hesitantly. “I’ll help you talk to him, figure things out or something. I…didn’t want to give you the time of day, but Rachel told me that I had to give you a deeper look, so I did, and I’m very thankful I did.”

“He wouldn’t touch you with me on your side. Nobody would touch you.”

Kurt can’t help smile at that. It’s very determined and protective and…well it’s a side he never dreamed of seeing in McKinley’s resident bully. Even though it’s been painful, being hurt by Azimio and publicly outed to McKinley was probably the best thing to ever happen to the other boy. “I’ll help then,” he says.

“Thanks, I … don’t deserve it.”

It makes him remember what Dave had said while he was drugged up in the hospital. He was so in love with “fairyboy” that it hurt. It kind of got him nervous and excited in a quick second and he had to contain himself and shake his head.

He looks over to see that Rachel is finishing the meeting and smiles. “Will I see you at Lima’s first pride day?”

“Totally,” Dave says.


	10. Even better.

It’s a typical pride event, or so he thinks, as Dave has never been to one in his life. There are rainbows and other blatant displays of gay pride everywhere. To be honest, he is nervous as hell. He has been anything but proud of his sexuality his whole life. He is there and everything but he isn't going to be waving any rainbow banners any time soon. He finds Kurt quickly and sticks very close to him. Kurt looks over and smiles that ridiculously charming, confident smile that turns his stomach into knots. “The turnouts pretty good,” he says proudly, “and we haven’t had any trouble yet.”

As if on cue, there’s a loud shriek from Rachel Berry. Dave turns around to find the show choir diva covered in bright green slushie. He winces, groaning because he knows that a couple of weeks ago he would have been on that end of the slushie cup and also because now he’s felt the ice cold sting himself. It’s not pleasant. It’s humiliating as hell and it’s also surprisingly painful – freezing cold. He shudders, trying to erase that memory from his head. He's apparently lost in his thoughts for too long, because Kurt touches him.

“Dave,” Kurt says, gesturing with his head.

Oh, shit. The hand at the end of the slushie cup belongs to none other than his former best friend. “Look at the little fag princess,” he slurs, laughing softly. “I’ll have to get my boys to give you a few more of those, and then we’ll show you a real rainbow.”

Dave looks to Kurt but he’s already rushing to Rachel’s aide. “Get the hell out of here,” Kurt yells with fire in his voice. “There is no place for someone like you here. This event is for support and positivity, something that you’ve never experienced in your pathetic life. You’re so freakin’ ridiculous. Slushies? Really? Hasn’t that become old yet? Not that I expect you to be able to get creative with a brain the size of a flea.” Kurt’s shaking in anger and Dave can’t help the sadness that inspires. Kurt had always used his words to defend himself against people like them. Kurt had always been so much braver than his little stature would show. Dave knows well that Azimio could beat the crap out of Kurt with a single finger. This is why he steps in – also he owes Kurt, all the pain he’s caused.

“Back the fuck off,” Dave says, harshly.

“Oh look,” Azimio says, laughing softly. “It’s my old best friend. Got any more confessions for me?” He turns around and starts imitating him. “Oh please, don’t hate me. I’m just…I can’t take it anymore okay? I don’t want to hide from you…we’re cool right, we’re cool?” The guys with him start laughing and Dave can’t help the tears that sting, but he represses. He keeps them down. Azimio is doing a spot on imitation of his confessions. He grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around.

“You stay the hell away from them, and from me,” he says. “I trusted you.”

“You’re pathetic,” Kurt says, and he can’t believe the kid keeps talking. He's glad he's here. Kurt's pushing too hard and is going to get himself killed. “Did you know that? You had a friend who gave you complete trust. A lot of people would kill for that. Not only did you reject your best friend from childhood, you beat him. Are you that threatened; are you that afraid? Does his sexuality change who he is? You’re a screw-up who doesn’t get what friendship is and I feel sorry for you.”

Rachel, who had been quiet, speaks, brushing green slush out of her hair. “Kurt, sh,” she says, with dramatic flair. “He doesn’t get friendship. Why let him mess with our day? Can you guys help me clean up?”

Dave takes control and nods towards the locker room. “It’s Saturday, it’s empty until game time,” he says. Kurt nods and he and Rachel both follow.

“I have a change of clothes,” Rachel says softly. “I expected this. You don't really have to help me, I just have a total phobia of violence and I could swear he was going to take your head off Kurt. ”

She opens her bag and yeah, inside is a blouse and skirt. Dave feels like shit, realizing just how much this happens to her.

“We’ll stay right here, just go to the other side and change,” Kurt says. “There are showers and if you need help cleaning your hair or whatever, just ask.”

“Nobody into girls here,” Dave jokes, sitting down.

Kurt gives him a look. It’s probably a big step, admitting he’s gay in a joke.

Dave leans back on the bench in the middle of the locker room and looks to Kurt. “Wow,” he says softly. “That…thing you did was just…amazing,” he says honestly. “I can’t thank you enough really. You’re pretty fantastic with words. It’s always been something I’ve sucked at.”

“Why do you and I keep coming here?” Kurt asks and he’s changing the subject, but Dave figures it’s because he’s not too good at taking compliments. He realizes that, holy shit, yes they are at the same place. It was that spot again; the spot where he kissed Kurt and the spot where he had been beaten up.

“It draws us in,” Dave suggests. “It just holds a lot of meaning I guess.”

“I suppose,” Kurt says.

“I wish I had that kiss to do over,” Dave blurts out, quickly, quietly. He can’t believe it comes out of his mouth. “I mean, seriously, I feel guilty for it, just so you know. It was wrong and I forced it and I acted on total…”

“Fear and desire?” Kurt asks, and yeah, the kid is better with words then he is.

“Yeah.”

He just smiles, the tiniest, sweetest smile that Dave has ever seen. It just lights up his face and goes straight to those soft eyes that he can’t tell the color of. Kurt sits down on the bench next to him. “You know,” he says, crossing his legs and practically batting his eyes. It’s so dramatic and theatrical and all Kurt. “If you want to redo that kiss, I’m totally game for a redo.”

He leans down and presses his hand to Kurt’s cheek, stroking it lightly. “Really?”  
Kurt nods.

He leans down and presses his lips to the other boy’s soft ones. This was just what he had wanted so much, for so long. It’s silly but it practically has him crying. He scoots a little bit closer and then carefully pulls back. It’s soft, sweet and gentle. It’s perfect.

He goes in for a deeper kiss and Kurt's delighted sounds make it even better.


End file.
